im angry. seething with anger. im so angry i cant think straight. and it all began with a blog.

let me start with a question:

why is it hard for most people to become good children to their parents?

im asking that because i keep running into blog after blog with kids bashing their parents.

so i cant help but ask why.

if your parents are irresponsible, drunks, cheaters, drug users, killers, evil people, then i can understand. go ahead and bash them. hate them. leave. run away. do it because theyre evil people.

if they dont feed you (out of choice and not because of financial reasons), then hate them. if they dont send you to school because they dont want to spend money (as opposed to not having any, at all) then curse them.

why do you hate them if they havent done anything but do what's best for you? why do you hate them when they criticize you when all they want is for you to be at your best? why do you hate them when you feel that theyre biased with another sibling? isnt it enough that they give you all that you want and need? havent you thought that maybe that sibling of yours shows them how much he/she loves them while you dont?

that he or she shows his/her love and affection for your parents and act with your parents indulgence and appreciation in mind? while you act like a tenant, a bedspacer in your own house, not talking to them except when you have a question or when you need permission, otherwise you'd lock yourself up in your room or spend all your time on the telephone or in front of the pc? is it any wonder they're closer to your other sibling when at the same time theyre probably wondering how they could have the same relationship with you? but all you do is make them feel unwanted and make everything complicated. so they step back and give you space. and now you feel alone because of the actions youve taken but have not, at any point, owned up to the fact that you brought this on yourself?

why do you hate them if they dont buy you a new phone? what about that last phone they gave you? or the countless other presents theyve given you? all the christmas and birthday gifts, all the toys and the clothes and the gadgets and the accessories? have you forgotten about those?

you hate them just because of one lousy phone?

is not buying you this one thing, this one time, enough for you label them as bad parents?

is it?

tell me, dont they feed you? dont they let you live in their house? dont they buy you clothes when you need (or want) them? dont they send you to the best schools they can afford?

if they made a decision you dont agree with, do you think they did it because they want to spite you? havent you ever thought that they did it because they were thinking about your welfare?

if they didnt let you join that trip or that party, havent you thought that they did it because they loved you? because they dont want you ending up in a car accident? in a deep ravine? drowned? raped? stabbed? killed?

do you think sometimes that it's unfair of them? that theyre overreacting? havent you thought that overreacting is their natural line of defense from seeing you get hurt? theyre paranoid because they dont want you to get hurt, physically or emotionally.

you might say, "patay kung patay. it's my life". now arent you being unfair? they spent every single day of your life, loving you, protecting you, giving you all you want, then suddenly, youre taken from them. youre killed. lost. isnt it more unfair for them? that they lose their only joy? that being you?

dont you think it's unfair that for everything theyve sacrificed for you, youre just throwing your entire future away on a decision you feel is only yours to make? dont they have a say in your life?

what right do you have to make your own decisions? have you made those decisions in the past? are you experienced at making those decisions? are you aware of the consequences? and in the end, if everything goes wrong, what do you do? you run back to your parents and apologize and that's that? isnt that unfair? you get to do anything you want, screw up and let your parents fix everything for you?

then you'll say, "it's my mistake to make. i'll live with it." do you know what youre talking about? dont you think theyd be affected? that their love for you will make them irrational? that they'd sell their fortunes, possessions and souls for you if your act turns into disaster?

do you have your own house? a job? money to pay for the mistake you say you can live with? ang daling sabihin. it's different when it happens. and who would you turn to then?

why cant you be a good kid? how hard is it to follow your parents' orders like cleaning your room or doing your homework or taking care of your siblings? dont they have a right, since theyre your parents and they feed you and take care of all your needs?

isnt it more unfair to them? that they give anything and everything you want and you cant even follow one request from them without complaining?

their bosses and other people give them orders, work to do, and they do it, with no complaints, and all they get is a fixed salary. a paycheck. but you? you get food. a house. clothes. the latest in thing. and youre not even doing a single thing to earn it.

what's so hard with being kind to your parents? why do you curse them underneath your breath. why do you seethe with hate behind their backs? have they been bad parents to you?

define bad parents?

is not having time for you because all their time is spent working to earn money so they can feed you label them as bad parents? is being angry all the time because of a thankless, unrewarding job, and a tiring day make them undeserving of your respect?

is not giving in to your every whim and wish because of certain restraints enough proof that they dont love you?

is berating you everytime you make a mistake beyond their capacity as parents? isnt it their right? their privilege? do you think they do it out of some weird sense of gratification seeing you cringe and near to tears? do you think theyre that sadistic enough to derive pleasure from your pain? dont you think they do it because you keep making the same mistake time and again? that theyre just trying to teach you a lesson the same way they learned from their parents?

ayaw mo bang pinapagalitan ka?  then why do stupid things? who wants to get scolded? nobody. but who has the right to berate you on your personal life? your teacher? your friends? your yaya?

how about you? if someone does something wrong and you're a supposed leader in a group? dont you scold that person? dont you tell them what's right and wrong? dont you get angry? you're just a groupmate and yet you have the audacity to reprimand a peer? a co equal? so you think your parents arent your equal? that theyre lesser?

is shouting at you mean they love you less? arent they allowed to get angry at a stupid, selfish child who cant think of anyone else but him/herself? is being a parent take away the fact that theyre still a person? allowed to get angry, hurt, frustrated and disappointed?

tell me, if you were a parent how do you treat a kid who:

• doesnt fix his bed when he wakes up
• doesnt do the dishes
• doesnt do laundry
• who watches the tv the entire day
• who's on the phone 8 hours a day

how would you treat that kid, when you have to wake up at 5am, dress up and commute to an unforgiving work, then work for 8-12 hrs and then you see him playing with the computer as soon as he wakes up.

how would you feel after a long and tiring day, you get home at 10pm because of horrendous traffic and you find that kid still at the computer?

how would you feel if you went to sleep, waking up at 2am and see that kid still in front of the computer? you work your ass off and most of your money goes to paying electricity that a kid uses to chat the entire day?

how would you feel if that kid asks you for a 100 pesos a day and he spends it playing at a computer shop? you get paid a 1,000 pesos a day and 1/10th of it goes to playing games? the same 100 pesos that could be used to buy a kilo of meat that you could provide for several meals?

what would you feel if youve been wanting to upgrade that 5 yr old phone of yours and then suddenly this kid says his computer's acting up and he needs to upgrade the processor? and then he makes excuses to spend more of your money to buy a new board, hard drive, graphics card and other accessories you dont know what theyre for but you do it anyways because you want your kid to have a working PC for school but your kid just wants to use it for games?

what would it be like if youre tired from a hard day's work and you go home to an empty house with no food and youre hungry. then you find out your kid's hanging out with his friend drinking a beer or two?

youre hungry and youre deadtired and your kid comes home pissed because of some silly reason and he yells at you when you talk to him? what's it like? what will you do? what's he angry about? is his reason graver than yours?

wont you get pissed? wont you get mad? you work your ass off and your kid yells at you? he spends all your money and he yells at you? you let him live in your house, send him to school, and he yells at you?

what would you do if that kid mutters beneath his breath "sira ka pala e" or you overhear him badmouthing you to his friends? what right does he have? wont you get hurt? wont it piss you off?

all he does is play games, flirt with women, spend your money, hang out with his friends, get into trouble all day and he has the right to yell at you? he has the right to get mad at you?

what have you done? have you been a bad parent? you try with all your might, do what you think is best for your kid, sacrifice anything and everything you have and he thinks youre a bad parent?

can you do that? put yourself in your parents' shoes for a while and see things from their perspective? can you live a day in their lives dealing with a kid like you?

now tell me, why you cant be a good kid to your parents, because i can surely point out why they cant be a good parent to you.

im angry. seething with anger. but more than that, im scared.

i want to have kids of my own. little angels. ill have dreams for them. big dreams. i can dream for them cant i? im their parent. and i only want what's best for them. theyll be a doctor. theyll earn so much theyll never want. theyll never need. theyll have everything they'd ever wish for. theyll travel, theyll have 5 cars, 3 houses in the most posh villages.

ill dream that he'll be a lawyer, representing the most political elite and the richest businessman. he'll never want. he'll never need.

but im scared that they'd turn out like these other kids. kids who are filled with angst, anger, hate, disrespect and issues with authority.

i would want to be a good parent. but i dont know how. id love them. ill listen to them. ill give them everything they want. but does that guarantee they wont curse me behind my back? badmouth me in front of their friends?

all id want is to love them, and im scared that they wont love me.

ill give them everything they want but im scared that they'd hate me for some reason i wont understand.

i want to understand them, i do. im sure i can. ive been a kid once. i know what it's like to feel lost, confused, all bottled up inside, to feel alone.

and yet they'd probably hate me if i reach out for them. so ill give them space. but that would make them feel that theyre alone and make them feel that i dont care for them?

why cant you be a good kid to your parents? im sure all their lives, all theyd wanted was to be a good parent to you.

Bo Sanchez is one of my favorite lay preachers. You've probably read about him via his articles circling the web or by his published works, most notable being, KERYGMA and DIDACHE.

Ive met him a few times during worship services (The FEAST) with the Light of Jesus Community (LOJC) when we were introduced by a mutual friend.

He has probably the best insights on life (most of them amusing and funny but all, extremely relevant). I could never get tired of listening to/reading about his thoughts the whole day.

Im posting an email here with Bo's article regarding knowing the reason why people act a certain way. He shows here why we, as ordinary human beings, are not fit to judge a person or an event.

I have to admit that ive made this mistake time and again, and ive been trying to be less judgment and critical of people (ive failed miserably most of the time, but i still keep at it).

By BO SANCHEZ
From his book: "Fill Your Life With Miracles."
Copyright 20005 by Bo Sanchez

KNOW THE STORY BEHIND THE STORY
By Bo Sanchez

One day, I was giving a retreat to a bunch of bigwig executives.

As a whole, the group was very happy to be there.

Except for one guy -- one of the vice presidents -- at the back
of the room.

If horses suffered from menopause, that was what he looked like:
He snorted around, kicked his hoofs about, creating dust clouds
everywhere. While all were listening to my talk, he'd stand up and
walk around, disturbing everyone, chatting with people and munching
chip! Obviously, he didn't like being there. I guessed he was forced
by the company's president to attend the retreat.

This menopausal horse was getting to my nerves, so I approached
him after my talk. The evil laboratory in my brain provided me with a
few opening lines to use.

"Let me see...You became VP by marrying the owner's daughter, right?"

"You're a VP? Does that stand for Vile Personality?"

"So, what Al Quaeda cell do you work for?"

"Are you by any chance demon-possessed?"

Of course, my favorite was...

"Hi, are you having hot flushes?"

Thankfully, I didn't choose any of the above.

Instead, I took him aside and sincerely asked, "Hi, brother. How are you?"

After some awkward moments, his story came pouring out.

"Last month, my wife was diagnosed to have cancer," his voice
trembled, "and the doctors don't know how long she will last. I hate
being here because I want to be with her every waking time I
have." He wept like a baby.

Suddenly, I felt tinier than a virus.

Can anyone step on me and squash me, pleeeease? I deserved it.

I said, "Brother, can I pray for your wife right now?"

He nodded. I laid my hand over him and prayed for her healing.

You won't believe what happened next.

For the rest of the retreat, the man was as attentive as a
contemplative nun.

I learned two lessons that day.

One, I'll never call anyone (even in my mind) a menopausal horse again.

Two, I need to know the story behind the story.

Without it, making judgments is insanity.

********
* DEAR LORD, we pray that we shall never judge a brother's actions
until we know his motives. It is better to err on the side of charity
than to misjudge anyone. Remind us that the faults we see in others'
lives are sometimes true of us. May our expectation of others be
tempered by an awareness of our own weakness. Lord, help us to
lovingly build up one another and show kindness for your honor and glory.

great. i bumped into an online acquaintance of mine on YM earlier.

she asked me why i wasnt replying to her IMs last night.

i was a bit puzzled since i wasnt online last night. she was adamant that i was. i told her i was already asleep at that time and i dont go online at night especially when im home.

she kept insisting i was which lead me to two possible explanations: either a friend of mine (who knows my password) went online yesterday (which is doubtful since they rarely go online anymore) or my account's been hacked.

im not really that concerned since i use my email account as my spam account anyways, but my YM's different. although most of the people in the list are just acquaintances and weird people i rarely speak with with, there are people there who're friends of mine.

im just concerned that whoever's hacked my account might be sending them rude messages. and although theyre used to me sending them lewd messages anyway, id still rather be the one to do it.

so if you're on my YM list and you received a disgusting IM from my account, well, it's just probably me. but if i dont reply to any of your messages, then it's probably my hacker.

cheerio.

This is supposed to be a DVD review. A review of a film I happened to pick out of the rack because I was in the mood for a little light comedy about love.

Who was to know it’d inspire me to make an entry in my blog, on a weekend at that.

The movie, if you’d like to know is, love actually.

And for those of you who had seen the film, youd understand why im so ecstatic about it that i couldnt wait to figure out my other theories and publish this first.

The film proves true to its catch title being ‘The Ultimate Romantic Comedy’. It has tons of amazing moments, enlightening thoughts, ‘quotable quotes’, its crazy.

It’s now my favorite movie of all time. I swear.

But enough about the movie.

As my entry’s title suggests, despite everything life throws at us, despite all our reservations, our doubts, our fears, our hesitations, if its true love, it’ll all work out in the end.

In the film, it shows just that. I mean, it may not happen according to what you wish it to be, as the film amazingly puts forward in just 135 minutes, but it will still work out in the end.

Even if youre a fool who’s in love with someone who’s from another country, or youre in love with your best friend’s lover, or if you’re an elite who’s crazy about a commoner who’s not even attractive by most standards, itll work out at the end.

Now, again, enough about the movie (Im so crazy about it that I just cant stop referencing to it).

Anyway, love very much like life, has a way of working itself out. But of course, it doesn’t happen that way without a little effort on our part. I guess that’s what’s ironic about it.

It’s the little things that somehow makes or breaks a relationship (a simple text or gift meant for someone else except our lover, another person’s name that slips out of our mouths at an awkward situation, etc) while the bigger things are easily forgotten or discarded (an expensive birthday celebration, an amazing proposal, driving to/fetching from work, etc) during an argument.

Sometimes, we find ourselves in a relationship where we’re extremely content with, and deliriously happy, and yet it doesn’t work out the way we’ve always planned it to. You’d ask, how then, would love make it work out in the end, when at the moment, it didn’t.

Well, it’s because it wasn’t really love. You may love that person, but it’s not the same for them. They may say that they love you, but if they really did, then it would work out. Truly. Im sure of it.

Ive known people whove been left by their partner whove managed to luck into the real loves of their lives. Now im sure that its true love this time around for them simply because no matter what happens, theyre still together. Love is making things work out for them. Love is the engine that makes their relationship going.

I think that’s how you know if its really love. When no matter what life dishes out at you, love will pull you through. Love will find a way.

It’s easy for a person to say they love you, but youll never know if its true unless its forged by the fire of pain and hardships. Nothing can stand in its way. Faith may move mountains. But love can make them.

The way i see it, its like this: I loved my ex, I really do. I still do.

But does she love me? That I don’t know. The easy answer would be that she did. But as ive always pointed out before, love is a flame that never goes out. Once it sparks passion in your heart, it will endure till the end of your days.

So if she truly loved me, our love would have made things work out. As it is, it didn’t. But here comes the good part: maybe she does truly love me. And if that’s the case, then I have something wonderful to look forward to.

Remember: Love works everything out in the end.

i took a jeepney around ortigas center today, and as soon as we turned that corner along meralco avenue i caught a whiff of freshly cut grass.

it smelled sweet, and brought memories of early morning drizzles. it reminded of me being a Boy Scout too.

if i were ever so wrong about something, that something would turn out to be scouting.

when i was in grade school, id laugh at the idea of being a Boy Scout. what kinda cool kid would be seen in green shorts, green shirt, knee high green socks, a scarf and a stupid salute?

not me, id exclaim. scouting's for losers.

who was to know i'd eat my own words a few years later?

it turned out to be the one of the greatest things to ever happen to me. i became popular. people looked up to me. lower batches respected us. the faculty trusted us and often looked to us for help.

i learned trekking, mountain climbing, rappeling, i went camping, we went on community services, i learned to be responsible, imaginative, i even learned how to clean fish and eat vegetables.

i wouldnt be who i am right now if i didnt give it a chance.

and im sure a lot of us have gone through the same thing. so its important to keep an open mind about a lot of things.

so before dismissing something easily, ask yourself a few questions first:

• would it cause pain or discomfort to you or someone close to you?
• are you uncomfortable with it? is that umcomfortability caused by a rational fear which has a basis?
• is it a real waste of time, effort and money?
• would it result into a long-term or short-term consequence?
• doesnt it have potential to result in something good?
• would it cause you to go against something you believe in?
• do you think it is against God's wishes and plans for you?
• would it be detrimental to your short, medium or long term plans?
• would any of the concerned people in your life be against it?

if most of your answers are no, then i guess its safe to assume to try it. but then again, if youre doing it for the first time, then you know you might not be well-informed or well-equipped to make the decision.

the best option of course is to ask the people around you who would be the most affected. it's also prudent to ask people who are older than you such as your parents, a favorite uncle or aunt, relatives, older brothers or sisters or even your religious adviser such as a priest or a preacher. theyre older, so with more years theyre advanced than you, it's probable that they'd be more wiser.

it's always important to keep an open mind when we go through life. our culture, environment, our upbringing usually closes us to new things that we were not exposed to. but it doesnt mean that these new experiences will be detrimental to us.

now, new experiences may not bring us what we expect it to. the greater the expectation, the greater the heartache. so just keep an open mind, and try to learn as much as you can from it. that's how you'll be sure that it wasnt a complete waste of time at all.

i was watching a pair of boobs on the boob tube (turns out to be bubbles paraiso, one them hot hoochie model mamas whom i plan to make mrs smooth one day) from a tv show called 'it's a guy thing (or something to that effect)'.

show's hosted by bubbles along with borgy (manotoc), ketchup (eusebio), bernard (palanca) and john joe (joseph).

anyway, she was reading an email from a guy who went under the pen name 'confused' (how original, bro).

he was wondering how'd his girl said she was 'ok' one time, and then give him the cold shoulder the next few days.

now, im sure he's not that stupid. probably wanted to see his email get read on national tv, but then again, ive been privy to a lot of males getting confuzzled by the vagueness and double entrede.

just take foreigners marrying pinays for example. search the web for "tampo" and youll find articles pointing out how foreigners are often perplexed by this strange trait unique to Pinoys.

i do notice that both sexes are prone to this ambiguity, saying one thing only to mean another.

both sexes when they say 'it's nothing' often mean that there is 'something' and when they say it's 'ok', most of the time it's not.

that's where, i guess, most of the difficulty in a relationship lie.

remember when we always say that 'open communication' and being 'honest' is important in a relationship? well, that applies to vague comments as well. women may be accustomed to doing the 'figure me out' routine, because it's part of being a woman, and part of their allure, but it doesnt help the relationship at all.

dealing with men are easier. they say what's on their mind. they may lie about somethings (mostly about their weasley ways) but often, theyre direct and straight to the point, which makes the life of women a whole lot easier.

guy: what do you wanna eat? (tr: what do you wanna eat?)
girl: ikaw (tr: i want something delicious but not too fattening)
guy: how about some pasta? (tr: how about some pasta?)
girl: ok lang (tr: err, too much carbs!)
guy: ehhh. chicken? (tr: uy, ganda nung chick! yummy)
girl: ikaw bahala (tr: pag chicken kinuha mo, di ko kakainin yan)

for guys who've been dating a specific female for quite a time, im sure theyve managed to be in sync with them that they already know what the girls're thinking or at the very least know when theyre hinting at something different from their actions or words.

what i dont like at all, is why women insist that men adjust/change for them such as learning their subtle hints of dissatisfaction or displeasure all the time when they dont try to change themselves and adjust to us and be straightforward and direct sometimes. dont you find incredulous that women always try to change their man into their idea of the 'ideal guy' and yet they dont try to change for their man (not all women, of course) to try to make the relationship better for both?

double entrendes are sometimes cute. most times, its frustrating and tiring.

i do hope that women out there realize that simple direct questions do require a simple and direct answer. less ambiguity, a little more clarity. please.

A girl asked me what advice she could give her cousin.

Her cousin just found herself falling for a guy who’s already committed to someone else. And to complicate things, the guy’s more than willing to drop his current girlfriend to be with her.

Of course it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to solve this little dilemma.

But being such a rare, and morally ambiguous question, I wanted to give it a little more thought.

Ordinarily, I would’ve said that the guy’s a predator and her cousin’s lamb to the slaughter. But, who has the moral authority to decide what’s right and what’s wrong in a game that has no rules?

“All’s fair in love and war”.

That’s what I told her. You see, love plays by no rules. People play the game with no idea with what’s it really about. Most play dirty. And everyone plays to win. Conscience, honor and principles are actually detrimental to the aspiring Romeo. That’s why good guys finish last.

“Everyone’s fair game.”

No one ever said that a person’s already off limits when they get into a relationship. Of course the idea that they are actually off limits is a given. But legally? That’s another story. Being in a relationship is an agreement between a couple. Everyone else isn’t bound to it.

“If I were the aggrieved party, I would not want to be with someone who’s not completely devoted to our relationship. I don’t think I deserve someone who’s like that, and I think they’d deserve one another.”

Of course, that’s just me being arrogant and completely oblivious fact that im no prize catch either. And it’s not that I don’t deserve less than a perfect partner, but id rather not be the one to stand between my partner and their perceived true happiness.

Some would say, love is worth fighting for. But the righteous ones choose which fight to take. And most of the time, it’s not real love at all.

I told her, we don’t choose who to love. Love chooses us. If her cousin likes the guy, then let her follow her heart and at the same time, listen to her head. If the guys chooses to be with her, then let him. If she chooses to be with the guy, then so be it. If the former girlfriend decides to fight for her love, then let mature minds and hearts prevail.

In the end, love stories as is with history, is written by the winners. Losers are forgotten over time. And those who dared not risk? They’ve never lived at all.

 

 

i met up with one of my closest friends who's been sick the past few weeks.

he told me that hospital expenses can get too prohibiting these days, that most of the time, you would want to ignore your ailments.

fortunately for him, his company provides him medical benefits. his wife has medical benefits that covers him as well.

now, if there ever was a reason to get married, its certainly the benefits that could be the best of them (asides from the obvious ones of course, being love and kids).

getting married gives you legal benefits unmarried couples cannot enjoy: equal right to conjugal property, right to children, right to insurance claims, tax exemptions, legal safety nets, etc.

imagine you and your partner were disowned by your parents. you took care of home while your partner worked. and then by some sick joke of fate, your partner dies. without a marriage certificate, you are not recognized by the state as being a legitimate spouse, you have no legal claim even on his remains, let alone his insurance and other possessions. it will all go to his immediate relations. imagine that.what will happen to you then?

i have gay friends who have been living with their partners for a long time. but that's as good as it can get for them since our country do not allow same sex marriages.

being a Catholic, i belive in the Church's laws and the sanctity of the Sacrament of Marriage. It is our belief that only a man and a woman can be blessed by this union.

but then, the Church is not the State. Even our Constitution guarantees the separation of these two entities. They are not allowed to meddle in each other's affairs. They can protest, they can agree on each other's policies, but they should never dictate.

the responsibility of the State is to the people, not to the dominant religion, and thus should work for their welfare. and part of our people are the homosexuals. and they should be recognized as people with the same inalienable rights as heterosexuals, and one them being marriage.

of course, ours is not the ideal setting, as the separation between State and Church have often blurred. we do not want to offend and yet we need to address the issue.

part of the solution i believe is to define a term for use aside from weddings, ceremony and marriage as these are often attributed to religion. this is to distinguish the union as a State sanctioned activity and contract without insulting established religious beliefs and practices.

another is to establish a different law legalizing this union as well as defining the requirements, terms used and legal implications of the said union for the individuals engaging in it as well as for the State.

the ceremony, if any, should not bear any similarities to religious practices and should be done without much fanfare, frivolities and other acts that are offensive. it should be as simple as an oath-taking, and a signing of contracts.

it should be established that the purpose of the union is solely for the recognition of the State and to provide nearly the same rights, if not all, of civil or church-wed couples.

annulments and divorce should be disallowed to prevent abuse and mockery of this union.

a touchy subject would be of course with regards to children. being unable to bear children of their own without the help of another party, this could lead to unwanted consequences.

women might sell their services as to bear the child of a gay male couple. lesbians might resort to sperm donation. this of course, would be a moral issue that other religions and parties find offensive.

the only option left would be through adoption. but again, there are  possible issues. one of them, is the effect of a same sex environment on a child.

without sounding insulting to or biased against homosexuals, it is important that children realize their own sexual determination as well as the social responsibilities of a man and a woman, a father and a mother. but, as of now, there has been no study as to what effect same sex parents can have on impressionable minds.

and in our current society, there is often a social stigma left on young children when they are taunted and teased by other children with issues regarding their parents. and if a child has same sex parents, its nearly impossible to determine what effect this might have on their confidence and social skills.

thus, there is a need to address them by including certain provisions and/or limitations as to who gay couples can adopt. one would be to allow legal adoption to first degree kins. adopting younger brothers and sisters are already allowed by law especially if they are below legal age and both parents are deceased. first degree nephews and nieces can be allowed if both parents are deceased or incapacitated.

adoption should not be allowed for non-first degree relations and unrelated children. the best would be to allow legal guardianship. but only children from orphanages and foster homes should be allowed as this would prevent poor families from selling their children. also, these children should be of a certain age, such as 13 and above, and had been determined by a psychologist to be mentally and emotionally sound so they would not be confused when introduced to a same sex environment.

once these children are of legal age and do consent, they can ask that the State change the status to legal adoption.

there are certainly a lot of issues that hinder homosexual marriages, most of them moral. it will take a lot of time for the rest of the world to change their views on the issue.

its important that gay advocacy groups not just hold rallies but rather start studies on potential effects, show that they are a positive force by doing community and charity work, determine issues, identify groups that may block their objectives, sit down and talk with them and address their fears and issues as well as any negative notions with regards to their sexual determination and character.

obviously, gays running halfnaked, frolicking in the streets, kissing and making lewd and obscene gestures during gay pride parades arent doing the thing. theyre certainly proud of who they are, and are showing it, but theyre scaring the shit out of the rest of the world.

im pitching the idea of same sex unions in our country because i have gay friends who are madly in love with each other whose future are uncertain because the rest of the the country cant accept the idea. its not to push the envelope or to insult any religion or persons. its to allow gay people the right to extend medical benefits to their partners, its to allow them the right to conjugal properties and other claims. its to allow them to be able to bury their partner and see the fulfillment of their last wishes.

even with a conservative race such as Filipinos, i do think we're loving and humane enough to allow even a small degree of happines and fulfillment for our gay brothers and sisters. here's hoping that whatever the outcome, that it would be the best for all of us.